Mangey Managers



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Seriously though...

Subversive staff

Contact the idiot who created this


You can really confuse the staff by paying well but treating them badly.
It's harder to leave and really screws them up.


Make sure that you notice and comment on every little error your staff make.
But don't ruin it by thanking them when they do a bit extra or achieve something.

Prepare well for the Annual Review

A really good trick is to make no comments all year and then make some major criticism at the annual review.
This can save a fortune on your salary budget.

Some staff can be difficult to deal with

Some staff can be difficult to deal with
i.e. they are bigger than you.
Avoid confrontation - Moan about them behind their back.

Operate an "Open Door" Policy

Say stuff like "My door is always open, if you need help". When the staff come pestering, try one of these tactics:
"I'm just off to a meeting"
(Actually, as a manager, you should be in meetings all the time)
Keep looking at your computer screen or writing, while they talk. They'll soon get the hint.
Make a big promise such as "Leave it to me. I'll get that sorted out for you."
Then forget all about it. Chances are they won't dare bring it up again.

Top phrases to shut up whingeing staff

"I'm surprised you have time to think about that. The rest of us are far too busy."
or the more subtle:
"I'm not sure that is what you should be focussing on."

Practice motivational techniques

Managers should never use physical cruelty.
Mental torture is so much more effective (and leaves no tell-tale marks).

Keep Your Staff Informed

Being a manager means that you are expected to feed information to the proles.
Here are some alternatives for dealing with this:
"I'm too busy." They'll find out eventually, via the grapevine.

Taking Responsibility

If you have to get the staff to do something that they might not like and you can't use any of the techniques above, then try this:

"Well I know this is a pain and I feel the same as you, but the exec say that we have to do it."

Copyright Mike Allison, February 2000.

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